"All of the memories so close to me just fade away. All this time you were pretending. So much for my happy ending." - Avril Lavigne

Summer love is just an illusion. A perfect time, a perfect place, a perfect person. Or maybe a person who you built up in your mind to be perfect because you shared a moment of intoxication from sunshine and paradise. Or maybe just intoxication. There are some people who you are just not supposed to see again. The memory should be kept away in a little box somewhere only to be taken out in desperate times and cold weather. Once tainted, the box can never be taken out again, and then what do you do in desperate times and cold weather? Sometimes the past should stay in the past. Here are some prime examples:

1. The Before Sunrise Theory

Did you ever see this movie? If not, you should. It's really very good. Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy share an amazing night in like Vienna or something and fall in love. She's French; he's American. They know that it can never work. They decide not to exchange information because everyone says they'll keep in touch but really who does? Sure there is a sequel called "Before Sunset" which is also pretty good, but that's irrelevant. If you ask me they had the right idea the first time around.

2. The Grease Theory

Summer Dreams ripped at the seams but (ahh) those summer nights. Sure Danny Zuko and Sandy Olsson shared the ultimate summer romance. However, when they saw each other again, he reverted back into an asshole and made her miserable and hopelessly devoted for pretty much the entire year. Sure they end up together after she changes her entire image for him. Now tell me people is it really worth it?

3. The Sweet Valley University Theory

Yes I used to (ok sometimes still) read those books. I am not ashamed. Anyway Jessica Wakefield is a lifeguard at this beach and meets another lifeguard named Ben who falls madly in love with her. The next summer she goes back and Ben returns with a bitchy girlfriend. That did not make Jessica feel very good.

4. The Dirty Dancing Theory

OK, this is my own personal theory and the first paragraph that is actually a "theory." There was never a sequel to Dirty Dancing. As an optimist I like to believe that Baby and Johnny are still dancing away in the Catskills. As a realist, I think Baby probably went off to join the Peace Corp. and married some dorky Jewish doctor while Johnny worked some construction job, sleeping with a bunch of blond bimbo's. But the Dirty Dancing people knew what they were doing. They left us in the magic of that summer.

In conclusion, am I bitter that after waiting a year to see my summer love from last year he basically ignored me the entire summer, choosing instead to hook up with a girl who hasn't washed her hair in months for the purpose of having dreadlocks? Am I bitter that the guy who drunkenly told me that we would still be talking when we were 70 didn't even say goodbye to me this summer? Am I bitter that I spent the last two weeks of my life crying over a 27-year-old substitute teacher from Fort Lauderdale? Quite frankly, yes I am. I think the most upsetting thing, however, is not that I lost him. Deep down I knew we were never meant to be. I'm most upset that my perfect summer memory will be forever tainted, and the only thing I can depend on to keep me warm this winter are hot chocolate and bubble baths. So if you find that perfect summer love do yourself a big favor. NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN.