Stuntman Johnny Knoxville listens to what the fans said! Get it? It's an ear reference!
Earlobes or earrings? US asks the stars for a piece of their mind - and their ears!
US WEEKLY / ARTless: One Collaboration You Didn't Want To See
By Steven Goss
High culture isn't as glamorous as it used to be. You can thumb through
the pages of In Style all you want, but you won't see one mention of the
2003 Venice Biennial. (Where have you gone, Andy Warhol? The art world
turns its lonely eyes to you - ooh, ooh, ooh.) Instead, people are more
interested in reading about grade Z celebrities, like Anna Nicole Smith,
than grade B artists, like Kiki Smith. Unless Cecily Brown starts dating
Russell Crowe, the public just isn't going to get interested in reading
about artists anytime soon. So if it's celebrities you want, it's
celebrities you'll get. What right do we have keeping you away from the
hot, sticky gossip you love so much? This issue we gave into pressure
and asked US Weekly to contribute an article that is worthy of ARTless
but written in that insipid celebrity gossip style they do so well. Read
on as your favorite celebs sound off on the kooky shenanigans of Van Gogh.
We just hope they don't give US too much of an earache.
HOW FAR WOULD YOU GOGH?: This Ear's Model
By Janet Stevens, US Weekly Contributor
OUCH! Cutting off your earlobe seems like a stunt only Johnny Knoxville
could pull, but even he admits that's too much. "I'd staple my scrotum
together before I'd do something that dumb," the MTV madman told US. But
then again maybe Knoxville just isn't the romantic type. After all, the
absinthe addicted painter Vincent Van Gogh cut off his earlobe
and offered it to a prostitute as a sign of his affection. Sure it isn't
the big pink diamond ring Ben Affleck gave to J. Lo, but
it counts for something, right? How about it Ms. Lopez? Would you rather
have the chunk or a hunk of the hunk? "Ew, that's pretty gross" J. Lo
says. "Even though it could be kind of sexy, I'd keep the ring." Does
that mean severed earlobes aren't going to be the big stocking stuffer
this Christmas? "I don't think so," says a Tiffany's spokesperson, "unless
the fashion gods dictate otherwise." Just to be safe, we put our nose
-- and ears -- to the grindstone, and asked some of Hollywood's happy couples
what they would say if their partner gave them an earlobe instead
of a bathrobe as a gift?
- (Ed Norton) & Salma Hayek "I think you're taking this Hannibal
stuff too seriously."
- Guy Ritchie (& Madonna) "Why don't you give this to Sean [Penn]
- Freddie Prinze Jr. (& Sarah Michelle Geller) "I'd be like,
yucky! That's so gross and stuff."
- Ethan Hawke (& Uma Thurman) "Oh great an earlobe, real original.
Who are you? Van Gogh."
- (Brad Pitt) & Jennifer Aniston "I thought I was the friend
married to Brad Pitt, not David Arquette."
- Kid Rock (& Pamela Anderson) "I'd keep it and thank God everyday
for bringing me sweet Pamela A"
- Ryan Phillippe (& Resse Witherspoon) "Now that's what I call
- (Paul McCartney) & Heather Mills McCartney "If it's all the
same, I'd rather have your leg."