The ApeSheet® is a poorly organized humor site with an admittedly poor attitude designed to make you laugh out loud, chuckle quietly, or at the very least, smirk a little. If while reading this site you find anything the least bit funny, do us a favor. Tell someone!

New articles will be added to the ApeSheet® whenever we have time to write them. In general, you can expect 4 or 5 new articles each week. If you would like to receive notification when new articles are added, join the ape team or if that's too complicated just drop us a line at

The ApeSheet® consists of Recent Articles in five different sections: music, film/tv, print, miscellaneous and our very own art magazine, ARTless. Each section also features a handful of Classic Ape articles from the archives and a special Featured Writer section where we highlight the best of one of our many contributors.

Also, be sure to check out each section's Ape Store to purchase exciting items from Amazon. Why would The ApeSheet link to Amazon? Good question. Apparently, if about a million people buy something by following the links in the Ape Store, we make $1.50. That's good money, baby!

The ApeSheet® is run and maintained by Steve Goss and Steve Justice. In addition to a plethora of celebrity columnists, the following scribes have donated their writings to the ApeSheet®.

Paul Acquaro
Will Adam
Jackie Ass
Mike Baker
Ariella Bar-on
Erika Clarke
Jerry Davydov
The Dead President
Jade D'Espoir
Ron Diller
Max Finkle
Gene Fredericks
Ether Fudd
Brian G.
Tammi Gillian
Jeff Geoff
Zoe Glass
Natalie Green
Chuck Harder
Dick Harder
Steve Hofstetter
Amanda Hugankiss
Wendy "Here's Your Fucking Ancient Chinese Secret" Kim
Bill Klein
Katharine Leis
John Lipman
Dave Macaray
Richard Matulat
Blaine Michael
P. Mistyc
Brian Nixon
Charles Oh
Lindsey Olsen
Teddy "Tex" Osner
Shannon Page
Bram R.
Chris Roth
Lord Rutledge
Jennifer Sendax
George C. Simpson
Kevin Singer
Dirk Smile
Eric Stone
Lt. Major Taint
Samantha Waranch
Nathaniel Whitten
Emmanuel Witzman
Louie Ubriaco
Michelle Y.
Mimi Yarninski
W. F. Yung

This site is under constant development. If there is anything you would like to see added to the site, let us know. To send any questions or comments go here or drop us a line at And please remember, when nobody loves you, the ApeSheet® is there to say we care. Of course, we won't really mean it.

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